Ray Lamontagne has a new song, called Beg, Steal or Borrow. I love this song. Its not a "new" song as far as the concept goes, we've heard for years about breaking free from the sameness, about leaving our small town, about following the dreams we had as kids.
When I listen to this song, I think about the fact that there is possibility. There is always possibility. Even when I don't have enough money to put gas in my car, even when we are eating Ramen and beans, there is still work I can do to move forward, I can love where I am for the lessons its teaching me... to need less, to have less pride, to find the incredible gifts in this moment, and still there is the possibility of future.
When I was trying to have the courage to leave my marriage, I remember thinking to myself that it felt like I was trying to escape the atmosphere, and feeling the intense and relentless pull of gravity on me every day.
I know now that its not just to leave a relationship that wasn't healthy for either of us, but that its about the entropy and inertia of life as it is, of pattern, of habit, of complacency. There is more out there than that which we have settled for.
And to push through, to see, wow, my life is good, but there is more work I can do. Work on myself, work on my faith in my future, my ability to keep learning and growing and becoming, and that, in turn, becomes a gift that I can give to my kids, to my partner, to my friends...
My point is that to break away from what is easy and every day, to wake up and see that there is more takes that moment of epiphany, and then it takes sustained intention, consistent applied pressure, with patience and willingness to know the way out is long. Its this funny combination of being here now, while knowing that you can become more.