Friday, June 1, 2012

Ride Alone (Or I'm a total Badass, in my own mind.)

I like to ride alone because I feel like a fucking rockstar even if I'm only going two miles an hour.
there's no one in front of me that I'm worried i'm keeping
and no one behind me that i worry wishes i was faster
i'm blazing along at i don't know how fast
because i don't have a computer
or a heart rate monitor
or a map for that matter
but I'm a badass because i'm spinning and spinning my legs and they feel so good
and i can feel my thighs
like the Hulk, getting huge,
ripping out of my shorts
and I think, that was the hill?
and my lungs are burning and my heart is exploding
and it doesn't matter that I'm in my mountain biking shoes
because I'm still scared of my clipless pedals
but i'm an animal none the less
and i can listen to my chick music
Brandi Carslile sings about loss in my right ear
and I pedal past the construction guys
and the river
and there's some huge hill i'm gonna have to climb back up
but for now i hunker over my handlebars
and i remember when I got my first Schwinn 10 speed
with curled handlebars
it was red and white
and I could ride all the way down
and pedal so fast when I was ten
and today i can pedal even faster
down hill i'm pushing the bike faster than gravity is pulling us and heres a corner
that i decide not to be afraid of and i lean in
and it doesn't matter that I'm on my boyfriend's old steel commuter bike
because when I'm descending I hear the sound of the wheels spinning up
and the bugs are pitting my skin
and I'm hoping they aren't bees
and I'm alternating between little spikes of fear
that i'll hit gravel
or a gust of wind will yank me off this ridiculous machine
i must be going 40 miles an hour
(and that's the beauty of no computer, in my mind... i'm flying)
and total grinning freedom
but not grinning too big
because then the bugs get in your mouth and that's kind of gross
and it totally takes my mind off of my awesome form
and I get a little bit wobbly while I'm wondering if it went actually in my mouth
or if I spit it out in time.
And my saddle bag is flapping in the breeze
while I discover that I LIKE to pedal my bike down hill on the pavement
because I know there's not going to be a big jump or a tree
or a hard corner
and so I can change gears
which I'm still figuring out how to do
(the big leaver means big effort and makes it easier on a big... wait...)
but today i got it right
and I was in the big gear
and clicking up to the other big gear
as i went screaming down the long winding hill out of Ashcroft at
a bazillion miles an hour
Johnny Cash in my right ear
I must have looked like the total badass that I felt like
because I got whistled at by the construction guy as I went speeding by
and not the big fat one either
the hot guy that looks like a surfer who drives the red truck
not that I noticed,
i was going too damn fast
fenders wobbling slightly
mountain biking shorts torn on my thigh
wheel getting faster and faster and faster
the sound of the bicycle
a song I'm learning each part of


Jongira said...

and, but, you did notice :)
... and that's good, too.
(great poem, kate)

Liat said...