Monday, March 1, 2010

considering hiding under the bed...

Well, here we go again. Aspen is the most amazing place. Today, I got invited to teach in Italy for a client. What! Really?? Yes. Really.

This after working two days for an different incredible corporate event where I got to ski with and teach with Kristina Koznick and Chris Anthony.

Of course, me being me (remember when I asked Rob Sogard, coach of the PSIA Demo Team, if he was trying out for the team this year? Yeah...) I had no idea who these guys were. I'm getting used to it, "And these are our celebrity skiers who you'll be working with..."

Its always excellent, every person I've worked, whether a racer or a film star or a demo team member has been incredibly real, personable and fun to work with.

Aspen has this funny effect of making what might seem to be overwhelming just another day at the office, and I'm working so much that I often just show up and do my job and connect with the folks I'm skiing with and then process what happened about three days later, most of the time the feeling there is just relief that I did a good job facilitating their teaching, hoping that I can figure that out really well for the future. I think sometimes I realize belatedly that I was teaching in front of someone who really knows what they are doing, and I get a little worried or shocked. Its probably good training for tryouts where I will have to teach in front of all the other candidates and selectors, anyway.

Maybe that's what it is, that it feels after the fact like I imagine it might feel at selection. So I'm glad I'm not really aware that its happening in the moment, because I'm so busy just doing my job, having fun and keeping it rolling, that when it hits me later that I might want to pay attention to those, um, little details, I go back through the teaching segments to see how I was actually teaching in front of these very accomplished veterans.

So far, there is no way that I could ever have predicted the amazing journey that my life has taken in the last four years.

I feel that it is evening out, that the tough times are easier to navigate as the drama in my personal life has dramatically decreased. I feel like I've learned over the last two years how to really listen to my choices, and to make sure that chances for sabotage are identified and gently removed.

But I still have nights like this sometimes, where I feel so sure about where I'm going and why I want to get there, and so excited about possibilities for the future, and so plugged in to my path during the day, and then a bit overwhelmed by what I did during the day when I'm alone with myself.

Today, I had a great time doing my job, which I love. I connected to my clients and got fired up myself. I got to watch them play in some double black diamond bumps after they made some significant change.

I got invited to teach in Italy and called up a new friend to see if we could make it happen in a really excellent high-end fashion, and it looks like that will work out easily.

I drove home excited and feeling the bumps under my feet that I'd just skied. I came in the door and got tackled by my kids, who are both feeling better, and jumped in the shower, where I got hit by a wall of TIRED. All I wanted to do, starting at about 6:45 when the kids got in the bath, was sleep.

I'm feeling all of the good things about my opportunities and the path thats unfolding in front of me, and I'm feeling shocked at how fast and early it is unfolding, and I'm hoping that I can keep opening with it, taking good care of the people that have helped me get here, taking good care of my family, and continuing to step forward into my future.

I'm grateful that my skiing is coming up, and concerned about just how far I have to go. I need to ski hard all summer. Figuring out how to make that happen is one of the things that is pressing on me.

Welcome to my train of thought. Perhaps, its bed time.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Chris Anthony is the man, got to ski with him a bit in Vail. Ripper Shredder!