When I decided to try to go for the D team, in March of 2007, and Tom agreed that the family would be behind me (although that turned out to be harder than either of us expected), I decided that if they were going to believe in me, I needed to show my gratitude for all the extra effort it was going to take by doing the best I could to achieve my goal so their extra effort wouldn't be wasted.
I made a performance plan, just like I make for my clients,and I decided I was going to stick to it as close to the letter as I could. Now, because of that, its easy for me to hike in the rain. But its also hard to accept that some weeks, I'll only get out once a week. And that's just how it was that week. Just the next time you can, get out.
Part of the performance plan listed possible impediments to my goal, so that I could make a plan for removing each one of the impediments systematically until the path to my goal was clear.
One of the impediments was self sabotage right before success. I've had the opportunity to do it quite a few times already in my short 2 1/2 year career in skiing. So with only three years left, I decided I'd better look back into the mind part of the equation. I need to make sure that part of me is as well trained as my body can possibly be, so it doesn't hold me back.
So I re-entered therapy, with an eye on reconciling with anything first that was related to my ability to believe in myself until the end. Hence, the post below, and the myriad of "deep thought" postings. :-) Thanks for your indulgence.