Practice leaving space for the other person to be right. My massage teacher, Aubrey taught me this. I was astounded when she said it to me, it had never even occurred to me that even if I have good information, or the ability to go to the heart of the matter, that there might be a more effective way to have my information received.
|Can you leave space for this guy to be right?|
As I practice this more and more, I realize that its not only an effective way to have my information received, but often, as I'm actively working on leaving space for the other person to be right, I spend valuable time understanding their point of view, and why they've come to hold the beliefs that they have.
Whether they are beliefs about energy, their body, God, how a ski turns, or what to eat, it is not my job to prescribe for them what I believe works better, it is my job to hold space for their current belief, and, if invited, share my own alternative or complimentary point
If I am secure enough in my person, I can stand there and allow that what you believe is important to you. Even if I "know" that categorically you are WRONG, it still might be important for you to believe that you are right. This is also an excellent opportunity to consider that my opinion, which I am pretty sure is right, might not be 1. accurate, 2. fully informed, 3. take other points of view inter consideration, 4. correct, 5. fully formed... you get my point here...
|This lady is pretty sure that she is right. Does she leave space for the other guy to be right sometimes?|
Telling your student that they are wrong, that they shouldn't traverse, taking away what they believe will keep them safe, may shut them down to you. If you take away the one tool that they have, you may lose your ability to give them another, more effective tool.
What if you told your student, another way to control your speed is to turn up the hill, or link turns with less traverse in them. If you need to, by all means, traverse. But do your best to try this new thing as well, you may find that it makes you feel, with practice, even more control.
|The guy on the right is pretty good at being sure he's right, but leaving space for you to be right, too.|
If you need to, you can look at it this way: if this belief is currently working for them, from their understanding, they ARE right. They have something which makes sense, which they can rely on, which works. Honoring THAT piece as truth allows you to relax a little. Yes, they are right. Yes, you may also be right. Now, we have the opportunity for growth and learning on both sides. A conduit is open.
Can you do this while having a discussion on religion? Can you listen to the other person and leave space for them to be right while honoring your own concepts and ideas? If you can, if you can practice this, you are practicing tolerance, and suddenly, you are listening from a non-judgmental place.
|This guy is pretty sure he's right. Does he leave space for the other guy to be right sometimes?|
And the result is, the student you are teaching will hear you sooner, deeper, faster. The student that you become is open to more knowledge than ever before, and therefore has a depth from which to draw in the future. Communication is open, and NOW, the teaching can begin.