Alrighty then! Here we are, back home from surgery. I ended up staying in the hospital a day longer than I expected too, my first two days after surgery were great, felt strong an surprised at how good I felt (and I need to apologize to all the people who had to deal with completely unintelligible texts from me while I was trying to give "no really, I'm doing great' updates".
So I'm back in Aspen, ensconced in Kurt's house, where he's helping me keep my insane need to be outside in check. Kurt slept on the lazy boy in the hospital room for three nights even though he had a friesnds' house to stay at, an I have to say waking up to see his face, fuzzy and through the haze, sleeping right there was an incredible comfort to me.
I couldn't believe he was willing to do it, and do it night after night, and I finally slept, knowing that his care was there, and complete, an good. I felt calm and grateful, and I slept.
Dr. Corenman's team at Vail Valley Hospital was incredible, so gracious, even when they were insanely busy, they wanted to know what they could do to help me, to help Kurt, to make things easier, better, they didnt' rush us or try to get us out the door. They encouraged me to heal and helped me along the way. They cared for both of us in a patient and gracious way that was way above and beyond what I expected.
I was so happy to wake up and realize this was it, it was over. They weren't going to take me back and say "okay lets get started" again, because it was over. We'd done it.
I held it together until we checked in. Then I sat down and the tears came. I just really didn't want to be be crippled and bed ridden.
Kurt was there. Right there. His hand was on my shoulder, he let me do as much as I could on my own two feet, and when it got right up against that part where I could have pushed through, he just gently took the reigns and kept it rolling. He knew without asking what I needed, quiet and gentle, up the stairs, into the gown, into the iv, no extra coddling, no fear, no extra concern, just he was there, and so was I and so was this next thing we were going to do together.
And I went back, and he kissed me good bye, and the lights went out. That's the last I remember,
Until thinking, wow, we are done, and my throat doesn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it would.
I am so grateful to have gotten this done. Does it hurt? Yup. My neck is sore and the surgery sites are swollen and oogey. But I have my hand back so far. My shoulder doesn't hurt. For the first time since 2008 I don't have a headache.
I'm caring for myself, I'm standing on my feet, but miraculously, when I need someone to do the velcro on the back of my brace, there are his strong hands, holding the back piece in place and pulling the tabs down tight. He takes long enough that I see in his hands and his eyes that he wants it done right, it is important that it heals well.
Today, Tom and Kurt and the boys and I went up Aspen Mountain (we took the gondi, Kurt hiked) and wandered around in the sun. The boys are happy to see me whole, Kurt and Tom visited and my skin drank in the Vitamin D like crazy.
Right now, I feel very blessed, very lucky, and very open. The road to recovery, the other side, has begun. (Right after this nap.)