Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Motorist Burried in Teton Pass, Winter Recreation to be Closed in 2009/10 Season

This is a reprint of an article from Skiing in the by McGaper.

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A natural avalanche occurred early this morning around 3:00am on Teton Pass. The avalanche slide path was on the south side of Mount Glory in the area known as Twin Slides. One unlucky motorist was caught and buried in their automobile until rescuers found the victim two hours later and was pronounced dead on the scene. The name of the victim has been kept private until the authorities could notify family members.

"After a tragedy like this, WYDOT has no choice but to close the pass to winter recreationalists." stated WYDOT spokeswoman Mary Samsonite. Closures will begin on November 4, 2009 and last until April 4, 2010. Although the loss and closure is devastating, the closure is not permanent and it will more than likely be open again for winter recreation in 2010-2011.

After studying the bed surface of the slide, local avalanche experts determined that the occurrence of the slide was unique. They found that the unusual amounts of dog feces in the snow pack had caused depth hoar to form and create a weak layer for all the new snow to slide on.

"All the warm weather before the recent snow fall had exposed a winters worth of poop all at once for the new snow to fall on," commented local avalanche forecaster Olly Williams. "This in turn did not bond well with the heavy "dumpage" of new accumulation received in past days." While this is the first documented case of a turd caused avalanche, experts hope that people will now understand just how dangerous a crap covered slope can be.

"We feel that we have been more than patient with winter recreationalists and since this death was a direct cause of careless skiers, they now have to deal with the consequences," explained Samsonite.

Local skiers mentioned that in recent weeks the dog poo had become so bad that it gave corn skiing a whole other meaning. Some say they started wearing a face-mask to avoid ending up nose deep in dog dookie. Maybe more shocking than the unnecessary loss of life, is that on investigation of the bed surface one account of human feces was identified. Which begs the question: What the crap is going on up on Teton Pass?

APRIL FOOLS!! (AHH I fell for it!)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

April Fool's!