Lets be honest. Its been a tough week. Tom and I are doin' the best we can to navigate some very tricky waters while being respectful and kind to each other. That takes a TON of emotional energy on both of our parts. I have spent a lot of this week in tears. And that's okay. Because what we are dealing with is really hard, and tears are warranted.
The cool thing? At the beginning of our conversation yesterday, Tom asked me if I was still going to go on my training ride in a few hours. I said yes, because just because I am feeling bad is not a good reason not to train. What if I am feeling bad on the day of tryouts? I'll still need to perform.
Two hours later when my eyes were all puffy and bloodshot and I just wanted to go lay down in bed, I told Tom I didn't want to go on my ride anymore. He looked at me and said, "None of this is going to be solved in the next ten minutes. Go on your ride, you'll feel better, and you'd regret it if you didn't."
Fresh perspective, and care, even in this situation. He was, of course, right, and I went on the ride with David and Jill and Travis, and we had a ball, and I'm a LOT stronger than I was when I did it with Michael earlier this year. Which was exciting to find out.
When I got home, I was muddy and a little tired, happy, sweaty and feeling much much better. The same problems were still there, but the fact that they can exist with real life as it continues to happen feels more like sanity to me. Thanks for keeping your head, Tom, and putting me back on track.
NOW, why the heck am I riding a bike?
Jill and I have decided to train our butts off for the next month and see if we can learn to Mtn. Bike well enough to ride from Aspen to Crested Butte with Kurt, to kick off Nick Herrin's new season in his new home with a BANG! WHEW!
To do this, I need some bike handling skills. Yesterday, I practiced lofting my tires, and I did okay. I rode down some gnarly stuff just fine. I rode up some stuff I couldn't before, and I stayed on and kept pedaling when I thought I should put my foot down (BOY do I know how Ethan feels right now!!)
I need to work hard to be able to ride UP a lot more stuff, learning the balance point and how to keep power on the front tire. Its getting better, but I have a long way to go, and only a month to get there!