I think I'm in denial. Its time to let go of skiing for the summer, the first summer that I'm going to have to do it, and focus all my energy on passing my National Certification for Massage Therapy. But I'm not ready to let go. I'm in bed, sick, and I think probably mourning or grieving that the training is over. I got up this morning and didn't put on my snow pants, walked around in circles, feeling bizarrely disconnected from my life, I have mail to open and appointments to set up... but I'm in this weird flux between worlds, Bridger is open for another week, Big Sky is open, and we want to make an NRM version of Just Good Skiing, I'm totally exhausted still, which is weird. All I want to do is go ski and enjoy not being in training, but i don't feel like I am allowed to ski unless I am training because it puts such a strain on Tom to do so much extra work for the boys.
School started last week, and I need to get back and catch up, which feels like a daunting and impossible task, taxes are due, mail to open, still have a court date, money to be sorted out, Academy is coming up in like 10 days, I have three articles to write... and I really really just want to spend a day relaxing with my friends and my boys with no pressing responsibilities and let my brain decompress.
On the other hand, I can stamp my feet all I want and insist that I need a day or three off and get even further behind, or I can suck it up and get back to work, face my responsibilities, book a bunch of massage for the next two weeks, and make enough money to get to Academy. I can start calling instructors and getting caught up on work, and I can find a way to find one evening to celebrate passing the three with my friends.
I got tomorrow off at Bridger, so I think the plan will be to make all my phone calls and emails tonight to book as much massage as possible, then travel up to Big Sky tonight to celebrate, film JGS NRM tomorrow, stay the night, and drive back to school on Wednesday.
The bummer here is that when I work at night, like I will have to for the next two weeks, I don't see my kids very much (Which is why the sick day today was kind of awesome...), and Tom has to do a lot of extra work taking care of them and putting them to bed and getting them to school. He did that an awful lot while I was getting ready for the exam, thanks Tom!!
Its for this reason that I'm looking forward to summer, having the days in between school off to do massage or work on the house, which we are selling, and we need to get on the market ASAP. I will need to take a few ski trips in the back country this summer for sure, to keep the legs fresh and remembering, but this summer will be mostly focused on selling EVERYTHING we own, fixing the house, selling the house, and moving to Aspen! Meanwhile, I'll spend a LOT of time on the Skiers Edge machine trying to keep my muscle mass, and hiking locally. Don't think I'll make it to Mt. Hood this summer, because the scheduling would just be insane with the move.
I graduate from school on August 28, and I think we need to move in early June to get good employee housing, so the overlap of the cost of the apartment and our mortgage will be an interesting issue to grapple with, along with reducing the amount of stuff we own down to fit in a 800 square foot apartment with no storage unit!
Hmm, no wonder I want to lay by the pool for a day before tackling the next five months! Its going to be just as crazy as the last five!!