Sunday, November 15, 2009

Removing the Obstacles to Get Things DONE!

So I'm doing better, which is nice. I felt very much like I'd been run over by a truck or punched in the face a few times, but that has eased a bit, and its time to get stuff done.

So I slept for a full 8 hours last night (first night of more than two or three hours since last Tuesday! Woo HOO!), and I hauled my sorry butt out of bed this morning and cleaned my apartment. Put away all my clean laundry, made a grocery list, did my dishes, and then laid on the couch and read "Hold Me Tight" with a nice cup of tea for a while.

This book is amazing, I wish I could just beam the information in it straight into the brains of all the people in the world. It explains why we need love, what love is, why its so hard to make it work, and how to see the disease rather than the symptom when you are in deep. Its based on groundbreaking research, and what's cool is the research is cited in the book, so you get the whole psych background as well as the practical advice on seeing your own needs and those of others.

Alright. If that's not a ringing enough endorsement, I don't know what is. Buy it HERE, and READ IT!

I talked on the phone to my kids afterword, my mom is in town and it was AMAZING to see them with her last night on Skype. Bodhi kept crawling into her lap and just rubbing his face on her over and over, snuggling in like he'd put her on like a sweater if he could. They were both so calm and present, it was beautiful to see. I'm so grateful to her for going up there and giving them this dose of deep, consistent love. I hope it helps ease Bodhi's tears and anxiety at school. One of the nicest things was that I asked Bodhi, "Hey, can you do me a favor? Can you kiss my mom for me?" And he lept at her and gave her a huge kiss and hug, and I felt like I was right there in the middle of the snuggles. Ahhhh...

Ethan was very proud of the prizes he'd won at the Anderson School Carnival, and I got to see the two goldfish and the airplanes, as well as a bunch of cool crafts they did with my mom. Much better. This makes me feel peaceful in my heart.

I spent the next twenty minutes or so walking in circles around my apartment, a little overwhelmed by all I need to do, but the new snow was calling, and I need some exercise. So I pulled on my ski clothes and got all outfitted and went outside, only to discover that they'd plowed the road I was going to ski down to the dirt! Ah, well, no matter, I decided to hop in the truck and go for a ski down the bikepath... but the Bronco wouldn't start.

Right. Back upstairs, into tennis shoes, short walk and then back home. Now what? I could crawl under the car again and hit it with a hammer again, but that means that I'll have to do it again to start it next time. Its time to change the starter out. But its been snowing, and I don't have tools, I should wait till tomorrow, borrow someones garage... oh, hell, I've been saying I should wait till tomorrow for a week already.

I realized that I was paralyzing myself, to get anything done, really, I needed to change the starter, but I was afraid I'd get my car all taken apart and then wouldn't be able to do it myself, and be stuck here, or that it would be too cold...

I listened to my self defeatist internal comments and shook my head at myself. This is NOT how to get things done in life. I changed clothes again, got into my jeans, and walked over to the snowmobile office, hoping to find one of the mechanics out and about on the ranch. Indeed, Josh and his 15 year old son Andrew were in there rockin' out to Led Zeppelin and fixing snowmobiles. I asked if I could park my car under the overhang and borrow a wrench. They were very nice, even broke down a cardboard box for me, and I got to work.

"Are you mechanically inclined, Kate?" Josh asked.

"I'm okay, I guess. Why?" I asked.

"Well, I don't know any other girls that would tackle the starter on a Bronco, that's all."

I thought about this for a minute. Was I biting off more than I could chew? I'd been under there plenty of times before to whack it with the hammer, it didn't look that complicated, and it came with instructions.

"I think it'll be fine, it came with instructions!" I said.

"Okay." Said Josh, and under I went.

45 minutes later, presto, the Bronco works. Two mounting bolts, ponytail and ignition wire. Really. That's all. It was easy. Except for when I smacked my self in the face stripping the ignition wire. Well, that was easy, but painful.

I got up, put the battery terminal back on, cranked the key, and VROOM. Big Bad Bronco back to life. I was thrilled. I hope nothing else breaks on my truck, but I might go hang out in the snowmobile office and see if they need a hand occasionally, that was intensely satisfying!

Tonight, I'm taking myself out to the movies, and grocery shopping. Next week is gonna be busy, Fall Training on the 18th at Breckenridge! Whooo Hooo!

1 comment:

Jongira said...

Hey! I liked the arc of your last several posts, your narrative going through injury, into hurt (first reaction to injury), into insight through self-analysis, into resolve (that phoenix poem was amazing, you have a good friend there), into action. I'm sitting on an imponderable, which I keep putting off... but now I know that the imponderable is just an alternator, and can be fixed with direct action. Thanks for sharing. - J