Stop: here is lesson #1 (by the way, if you haven't read Mindless Eating yet, you should. One of the things Liat tells me all the time is that you have to make rules for your food, and you have to pay attention to what rules work and which ones don't so you can make small adjustments over time.)
As the illustrious Megan Harvey says... Practice makes PERMANENT, not PERFECT. And suddenly I am practicing breaking my training and eating rules... oh no...
Right, so lesson #1: I need my Calorie King! (If you don't know what this is, scroll down on the sidebar and click on the Calorie King link.) This was the first of my daily habits to go, and its because we spilled water on my keyboard. So it was out of commission. When I don't log my food and exercise, I don't know where my calorie deficit stands, and consequently, I spend the day feeling bad for anything I eat, feeling sure it will put me into "suddenly and surprisingly fat" mode.
Okay, we solved that one, I have an external keyboard now, so no excuses. Back on Calorie King. Good.
Day #4, on the Yellowstone, did not pack well with the food, running out of food, no time to shop.
Stop! Lesson #2... know how many days in a row you are going to be busy for, and pack ahead. In fact, a NEW FOOD RULE for me is: Never EVER run out of Luna bars. Because I can eat one of those every 2 hours and NOT gain weight and not feel deprived, even if I am not exercising that day.
Okay, going to the store tonight to solve that problem. Check.
By the way, this is how Liat and I solve my food issues. She really is like a food therapist for me, and we talk or email all the time about what is happening, and how to solve it. She is highly organized, and likes to tackle and solve problems, with an incredibly positive, "Okay, how can we fix that" attitude, which makes life a lot easier.
She also keeps me from making too many rules or habits at once. Which is good, because I like to REDO and I get myself in trouble that way.
Okay, onward. Day #5. Well, its been a few days now... and it was nice to be home with the kids... and today I weighed 155 lbs (my lowest so far), so obviously the pancakes I had this morning aren't affecting me, so I can have a cookie at the recital this afternoon (are any of you screaming NO NO DON'T DO IT!! just like in a horror movie? Don't split up! Don't go into the basement by yourself! Ahhhh!! yeah, me too, actually, inside, but I turned the volume down on that little voice...)
And Liat tells me to treat myself occasionally, so I don't feel deprived, so I thought.. you know, okay...
Day 6, I did fine during the day, and then I had, uh, like 3 cups of nuts at night... Oh god... here we go...
Day 7. Chocolate. I stopped taking my vitamins. (Always a bad sign). I stopped doing my balance board workout. I ate like crap.
I called Liat in a panic. "I NEED TO HIKE! NOW!"
Okay. This morning, we did the Kirk Hill to Leverich Canyon loop and added the Hodgeman Canyon spur in so I could show her the deer skeleton (which was all gnarly now after snow and rain, and had all kinds of beasties crawling on it, too cool...)
We had some amazing talks about food and falling out of habit and why it happens. I had gone to my bad place where I like to say "Big, Fat, Ugly, Girl" in cadence with my footfalls (Hey, I never said I had a healthy relationship with food! But you can watch me struggle through it if it helps... that's the goal...)
And that was because I have gained 3 lbs in the last 7 days. Grrrrrr.
Okay. Here are the things that help: Every day is a chance to do something healthy. Talk to someone who understands and can help you turn it around NOW. Get off your ass and get SOMETHING back on track.
My next post will be about why dieting and money management are the same thing. This is the brilliant theory that my amazing Ms. Liat came up with on the hike today.
SO. I did my hike. I am still mad at myself. But I am doing something positive about it. I made a good lunch, I am going to enter it into Calorie King right now. Tom found my old white board, and I put up my daily routine on it.
Liat came over and looked at it and asked me how realistic I thought it was (she's so wise...) and then suggested that I use the calender next to it to track how many things I check off every day, and go for getting the most checks I can, rather than not completing something and feeling like I've failed. See? She's a smarty.
So that's the pic up top. And as I climb back on the horse, I'll let you know how it goes. It took 3 days to begin the train wreck, which has lasted for 7 days. Lets see how long it takes to get it back on track.
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